Coulda bean

Bumped into neebur while foraging in supermarket for reduced food. On our trip around the supermarket and our journey back to our 'hood, the conversation went along these lines

Neebur: Oh by the way did I tell you that my early retirement request has been accepted, but I'm going to delay it by a few weeks, that way I'll get an extra £30,000.

MAiT: Oh that's fantastic news. You must be so chuffed and it's well deserved too.

Neebur: of course I also have a really high holiday entitlement so that means I can retire in no time at all

MAiT: That's even better.

Neebur: Goodness, don't you have a loyalty card?

MAiT: no, I don't normally shop here

Neebur: So why are you here?

MAiT: Oh it's not because it's the end of the month and I am poor and overspent at xmas or I thought stuff may be reduced ... or anything like that at all.... it's just because I thought I fancied a change of scene. And anyway baked beans are really healthy.

Neebur: You should really get a card you know? I am using all my loyalty points to go away for a luxury weekend break. It's not going to cost me a penny.

MAiT: Oh that's marvellous, a weekend away, you'll have a fantastic time. You deserve it too.

Neebur: Oh I forgot to tell you my other news. I was thinking about selling my other house and would you believe someone's approached me and wants to buy it. So I won't have months of having it up for sale and paying legal fees and advertising fees and all that sort of stuff.

MAiT: Oh that's brilliant news you must be over the moon. You deserve it. Lovely

Neebur: did I tell you that I've been going to the gym the last few weeks too. I feel so much better and I've lost lots of weight.

MAiT: you look fab, I was just about to ask what your secret was. Well done. Keep up the good work.


Once I got into the house I just turned the telly up really, really high so they couldn't hear me sobbing..........