Are You Sitting Comfortably?

Then We'll Begin . . . "

Mother Rednose (to the triplets) "Now, stop monkeying around, kids. We've got some serious reading to get through this winter. You've just read Trotsky's Age Of Permanent Revolution. Congratulations, although I think Denis doesn't quite understand some of the finer points. Now, your father says it's time you got into Robert Tressell's Ragged Trousered Philanthropists.Tell me, what are you initial thoughts on the book?"

Dennis: "Wonderful choice, Mother. It's a classic story of one man's attempt to battle the inequality and inequity of early twentieth century capitalism . . . how the ruling classes cleverly manipulate the working class into fighting each other rather than their real enemy, the elite."

Denise: "Yes, it's a powerful novel that highlights the fight between good and evil, and of the need for worker solidarity in the face of corporate greed. Tony Benn says it's a 'torch to pass from generation to generation'. I couldn't have said it better myself. Every child should read the book before going out into the cruel world.

Denis: "Aw, shit. I'm sick of having this socialist claptrap stuffed down our throats like so much burnt porridge. Why can't we read the new 'Arry Potter like all the other kids at school? I don't want to be a bloody socialist."

Mother: "Wash you mouth out with soap and water, you foul-mouthed little bourgeois swine. Then go to your room and don't come down until you've read the first chapter of Engels' The Conditions Of The Working Class In Britain.."

Denis: "Mumble, mumble, bollocks . . . pile of horse manure . . . (under his breath) fuck*ng commie b*stards . . "