Pardon Me Boy

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellows,

Today we took the train to Waikenae (why-ken-aye) which is not that far out of Wellington. This was to visit with Macca and her kids. 

They are normally based in Tauranga, but Macca's brother is RICH. He is a plastic surgeon based here in Wellington and he has a holiday home slash mansion slash palace slash WTF out there. 

Going by train was lovely. It's a nice way to see the countryside and the pair of us have always loved train travel.

It was a good time when we got there too. Macca had also invited Joshua, LouLou and Tiger and we had a good laugh talking about our usual childish things. Caro, in particular, amused us by talking about her Teachers With Unusual Names. This included Mr. Tiplady and Professor Beaglehole.

Mr. Tiplady was notable because he had a meltdown when attempting to teach a bunch of kids how to kayak. He was stood on the shore calling for quiet, when a bunch of kids started making fart noises with their armpits. 

"The next thing I knew he was this crumpled-up man. He turned all red and fell to his knees."

Apparently this was the start of a fart-related epiphany that led the poor man to leave the teaching profession for good.

As for the professor, he forced all of his students to sit in the lecture hall in alphabetic order. This meant Caro always sat next to some random bloke who arrived with a sleeping bag.

"The lecture would start," said Caro, "and zzzzzzzip, this bloke would put himself in his bag and have a nap."

This was bad because Professor Beaglehole was one of those teachers who was DEADLY with the blackboard eraser. As soon as the snoring started - WHIZZZZZZZZZZZZ! BONK!

"I always thought he was going to miss and hit me," said Caro.

What else? Oh yes, we also talked about costumes. Caro told the story of the first time she met my sister (she was dressed as an elf, with green tights and a pointy hat and was sporting a green beard - this was because she was in a play at the YMCA). LouLou shared the tale of the time she was driving to a fancy dress party, made up as an Oompah-Loompah.

"I got to the intersection and a bloke in the car next to me looked over and did the best double-take," she said. "He just about leapt out of his seat." She drove off, but their cars drew parallel to each other at the next set of lights. 

"I leaned out of my window and offered him a chip," said LouLou.

We speculated if the man got picked up by the police later, still raving about chip-dispensing Oompah-Loompahs.

LouLou is always good for a bit of slightly surreal chat. She is currently making a list of jobs. All jobs. Nothing excluded.

"Oh yes, I'm listing all the jobs I can think of. Like 'surgeon'," she added. "But I'm not getting too specific, so not 'brain surgeon'," she clarified.

Her plan is then to "filter" her list on the theory that she will then figure out her ideal job. "So if you can think of jobs for my list that would be great," she encouraged the room.

"Board game designer," suggested Tiger.

"Except that. That's shit," said LouLou, harshly.

I thought about suggesting Oompah-Loompah impersonator, but then thought better of it.

S.