"Seriously...

...why is that man walking on that roof next door."

Me: "What man. I can't see anyone..."

Popeye: " Can we go in the potting shed. This is disturbing Ted and me..."

Me: "Oh! The man taking off the ridge tiles. Yes, the silly man next door has employed yet another dodgy workman. This one is replacing his roof. It's the same guy who was replacing all his doors and windows and made a racket from dawn to dusk all week."

Popeye: "I think he is shouting something to you."

Me: "Really? I can't see him from under my thatched swing..."

Popeye: "Use your ears then..."

Me: "Nope. Not got my ears on today. They are in my bedroom in the dry box where they are going to stay until these workmen have gone.."

Popeye: "But what about me? My ears are stuck to my head..."

Me: "Tough. There are some advantages to being deaf as a doorpost (sorry, not politically correct term, but I am talking about me). And this is one of them..."