Damn seals!

Phoned a fellow blipper, " do you fancy going for a wee run" " ooh yes" Off we headed down Kintyre, weather lovely and sunny. Lunch was at Tayinloan and perpaps I should have listened to the wee voice in my head but no! . Off we went further into the bowels of Kintyre until we reached Campbeltown. By this time the weather was positively Mediterranean and my fellow blipper was enthusiastically snapping pictures of every dairy cow in Kintyre. Still the wee voice in my head said, enough now, go back but I knew better. " Fancy seeing some seals says I"  " ooh yes please" Ever eager to please we made our way to Carskey beach but no bloody seals!! So I finally listen to the wee voice and turn the van into someone's drive to reverse back and turn. I press the clutch and clonk! Clutch stays down!!. Van stuck in gear but no functioning clutch. Bugger. Fellow blipper looking anxious, there we were blocking the driveway to this rather splendid looking house. I'm thinking feck! Fellow blipper sans crutches knocks on door and some time later emerges with a lady that seemed like her long lost friend. I phoned greenflag who I'm sure are very familiar with this tin bin. That was three hours ago. Now waiting for greenflag, the bloody non existent seals and possibly even a sunset! Who knows we may get home tonight!. I'm definitely selling the bloody van and I've fallen out with the Carskey bay seals for ruining my day. To be continued......
Part 2  My conversation with the Greenfly man! Im broken down, Where? South End, South End on Sea? No South End Kintyre. This guy was based in Yorkshire and he said their system was down so I was guiding him using google maps! I said follow your finger down the A 83 till  you reach Campbeltown. Go through Campbeltown and at Stewarton turn left. Name me a place, mumble says he! You Mean Drumlemble, your'e too far , go back to Stwearton. This went on, I eventually got him to the right place. Four hours later the Stag garage vehicle arrived. Problem... Bolt had come out the clutch. Bolt back in and tied with baler twine, we were about to drive home when Donald phoned. Whats the name of the woman with you? I told him then he said, the police are looking for her! Why says I, because she's been away all day, isn't answering her phone (no phone signal) and they think she might have been abducted!!! Your'e joking I said, no here's the policeman, who was at our house!!! . They had just been to the other blippers flat (access with the key safe) and took a look at her rumpled bed and assumed there had been a struggle!!Honestly I despair  but at least we know the care system works!!! 
Fellow Blipper now happily back home and on medication and Im starving so going to make a big pot of home made chips and a glass of the strong stuff!
We were also blocking a woman's drive but she was very kind and as she was by the van when the cops called, will probably dine out on this tale for a while.
redcatwoman