Feel the Fear...

...and do it anyways! 

After a pretty shitty weekend, I managed to accomplish two tricky things I'd been putting off. 

For weeks I've been thinking about visiting A at her new boutique that she's opened. When I sent her the book excerpts for her to check back in April, she invited me to come take a look and say hello. I've put it off, feeling like it might be a bit awkward. But as the months wore on, I really wanted to go. During my course there were times recently when I thought how much I missed her, and wanted to see her. Today I decided I would drive to see where it was, a kind of dry-run so to speak. After I parked I wandered into town, and before I knew it, I was there! 

Part of me was nervous but I knew I'd be ok once I got there. I had a quick browse downstairs and didn't see her, so assumed she wasn't working. But then she appeared from upstairs, looked around and saw me, and then came over and gave me a huge hug! It was SO lovely to see her again, I worked out it's been nine months! We had a good chat and she showed me around her store. 

I was there for about an hour, and then before I left, she asked me to let her know next time I visit, so she can pass on the therapy magazines she's kept for me, and so we can go and have a drink and a chat at the pub next door. I think we both felt a bit funny as I suppose there's still that sort of therapist/client relationship, but I went to her for over four years so it's nice to still be able to keep in touch even though it's not exactly in a friend capacity. 

I came away feeling lifted, and I'm really glad I didn't put it off any longer. After that I made myself go to the pub with S. I don't know why I've found it so difficulty to meet up lately- she's a good friend and it's been a tough year, but I find it a bit of a downer just thinking about it all. We had a nice time, the sun came out and we had a couple of gin and tonics as we sat outside and put the world to rights. We posted my card I've been putting off sending for months. Truth be told I haven't thought much about it since, but with all the crap that's gone on the last few days, I'm sort of past caring! Exorcise your demons and all that.... Maybe it's more a case of making peace with your past so it doesn't mess up your future. 

Anyways, it's Monday tomorrow, just two more weeks left of school. I'm going to miss them.