Turning Twenty-Four

Turning twenty-four. Well well well, what a year I have had. I know it’s very cliche to say ‘its had some ups and downs’ but I’ve had some very low downs and some very high ups this year.

Let’s throw back to July 2018 where I had the best birthday party ever, I decorated our little garden with pom-poms and lights and the weather was beautiful so I sat outside all day and we had chats, we ate, we drank and it was just the loveliest day. I remember I hadn’t been long at my new job so I’d only invited a handful of people but I think only Rachel came who is truly the most incredible person and every day I thank my blessings that she entered my life. All my friends have been truly amazing to me and I will be forever grateful.

Christmas was also lovely, me and lee went home and we had such a good time with all my family. I actually gained a full stone in the month of December and even now I haven’t got it all off. My weight loss journey has taken a big back seat so far in 2019 mainly because I have no motivation and sometimes life is hard enough without having the added pressure to eat veg all the time. Having said that, I really do need to lose a stone.

Moving onto some lows of the year. I’ve really struggled with my anxiety quite a lot. It’s annoying really because I spent so long being so good. Hardly ever being panicked and being braver than ever! But this year has tested my bravery. I flew again in April and the entire month before hand was horrific, truly feel like I’d entered the eight layer of hell with my brain. When me and lee landed in Spain after, surprisingly, me keeping my cool the entire flight- we cried. The relief of knowing I had actually got there after only a few hours before me telling lee there’s no way I can leave the house, I did it. Which looking back MAYBE was quite brave, so well done me. Still everyday has its struggles but I feel myself growing and learning to know how to deal with my anxiety but also how to come to terms with the fact that it’ll never go away.

Now, I have no idea where the next year will take me. I’ve got some BIG things coming up so I’m getting my big girl pants on my washing line because lord knows I’m going to need them!

A special thanks to the love of my life Lee for putting up with my constant infuriating ways and being the best person ever.

Happy birthday to me.
(For tomorrow)

P.s. going to the zoo tomorrow and I am MOST excited!