I have absolutely no words...

...I am in tears.

A Brian Rix farce is the story of my life.

Google if you don’t have any idea what I am on about.

As if this the last few days and weekend was not enough with the trauma of the app to control my brand new cochlear speech processor refusing to marry properly with each other and crashing my iPhone. I got rudely disturbed this morning by the bed vibrating and the cat hitting the ceiling in alarm.

Get dressed and cochlear speech processor on and open kitchen door.

My drains are being drilled up again. WHAT! WHY! It was done last Tuesday.

My flashing doorbell was in my bedroom but no one has rung it.

Oh, your drains are blocked the Waterboard guy told me.

No they are not I said. They were rebuilt last week. Last Tuesday in fact.

And why didn’t you ring the doorbell I asked. Because you wouldn’t hear it they replied. You should have had a letter they replied or email or a text the guy said.

I’ve had nothing. I am beginning to cry. I have spent this last few days cleaning up after the last Waterboard crew last Tuesday and putting my plants in pots back and putting some new plants in...and I had it looking nice again.

The Waterboard guy pats me on the arm and tells me to go inside and make a nice cuppa tea for me and when they have finished repairing it they will clean up and make it all look good again.

So he is ushering me towards my kitchen door, but I turn round and say, “I want to see your worksheets detailing why this job needs to be done again”.

He has to go and get his worksheets for me to read. But my tears make it difficult to read.

Finally I manage it. There are several pages of this. So, I check with the guy I am understanding it right. Because it says “Customer phones to complains of blockage since it was done last Tuesday.”

So I explain to the Waterboard guy who has just smashed the brand new drains done last Tuesday, that whoever rang to complain wasn’t me . Why? Because I cannot use or hear on the telephone.

We’ve got this as urgent he said. It needs to be done now. So then I ask who rang. “It says customer rang”, he says.

“Well that customer wasn’t me,” I tell him, “You mean to tell me that idiot next door, who shares my drain and fills it with **** has rung the Waterboard saying his drains are blocked since the works on my drains last Tuesday? And you enter my property on his say so without asking for permission...”

“We’ll see to it all,” the guy said, “You have nothing to pay, you have nothing to worry about. Now, go on in your kitchen, put the kettle on, make yourself a nice cuppa, sit down and relax. We’ll take care of it all.”

I have absolutely no words.

Forget the cuppa tea, I opened a new bottle of sherry.....

Oh, you want to know what this KaleidaCam picture is of? I know you won’t want to know. It is the smelly contents of my toilet that I am unable to flush because the men have their heads down my drain smashing it to bits...

Postscript: at 15:12..,
The Waterboard are unable to finish the job because it needs specialised parts, so my drains are still in bits...... and they need to work under the wall a bit into my stupid neighbour’s who won’t let them dig up his precious imprinted driveway...and don’t get me started on that. They are ordering the parts needed and the same crew that were here today will be back tomorrow...they are off to Porthmadog now for an urgent job ....how long is it going to take them to get to Porthmadog from here? A couple of hours?

I cannot take any more of this. I seriously cannot. I do not have one iota of patience left for this whole affair, or that idiot neighbour of mine next door...what I think of him is more than unprintable....
They are going to be back at 8 am in the morning to start. I am going to be out by then. I was going out anyway but not nearly four hours earlier than needed.
My patience is at the end of its tether for any stuff here. I have none left.

I didn’t know they were coming at all today. As far as I knew the drains on my property were finished and done and dusted. The crew that were here last Tuesday told me that was it, the job was done and there would be no more blockages.

This crew didn’t even knock/ring the doorbell. I had doorbell in same room as me. I couldn’t do anything about it because they had already smashed the drains, or I would have refused them access today. But I didn’t get that chance.

When I come back tomorrow I will have a padlock and chain. My gate will be locked. And there will be spikey things on top so no one can climb it. That gate leads to access of the second part of the drain on my property (where next door‘s drain joins into and comes into mine). And I have to take all his rubbish into my drain. So in future, someone will have to communicate with me by one of the several means (which were all printed on that worksheet) in advance before they enter my property unannounced and do works without my permission.

I am still upset and very very angry...

I need another sherry...

I need to buy another bottle tomorrow...

...and I just flushed that toilet from this morning and sprayed nice smelly stuff....