It's gonna be a long, long time

 Juanita Amelia, born 13th July 1929. 

Today we said goodbye to Nant. 

I am hopeless at funerals. 

I made a decision 4 years ago, never to attend another one, but Nant was an exception, and the moment I woke this morning I knew it was the wrong decision.  

I think you could basically sit me in a crematoria and I would just break down.    

People could hire me as a mourner, if they still did that.   

Today, it was seeing the lovely. lovely nurses who cared for Nant in her last days which set me off.  

Truth be told, I said goodbye to Nant, two weeks ago when I sat with her alone in her room; ;I thought I had come to terms with it then, but i was kidding myself.  

Nant would have been 90 this year, and has her daughter said, she was very eager to get to 90, and would be kicking herself wherever she was now that she just missed it. 

She was a lovely person, would talk the hind legs off a donkey (I think that is hereditary) ... and as my cousin reminded us all today - right up until 4 years ago - around the age of 85 - she would sub in for the "keep fit" teacher at the class she attended,   Christ only knows what those classes would be like. 

She frequently hit me on the head for swearing and blaspheming; but  bloody hell she liked to talk about sex and willies,  She adored Himself - and would frequently torture him by asking for a cuddle (he hates physical contact with people - he barely tolerates me) .

She used to host the Family Christmas -  the last one she hosted was himself's first one.  We played "Guess what's In the Bag" - complete with the obligatory soggy sausage. And I tortured him by telling him that she sealed the mince pies with a lick!  

So many lovely memories  - so many laughs - she will be missed dreadfully..