Age of Fools

My Dear Princess & Dear Fellows,

Day 2 of S's visit. She did talk to me today, so that was better, but things are still a bit stilted. I'm not sure whether it is her or me. Maybe a bit of both.

No, no wait. I have just checked with Caro. It's not me.

But tonight we all had tickets to see Danny Bhoy in concert and that was good. He was really excellent. He saw an 11 year old in the audience and apologised in advance for his language.

"Once I had this six year old in the audience," he explained, "and I thought well I can't corrupt the wee chap so I mentally edited my act all night. To be honest it threw me off a bit, but I got through it."

At the end of the night he asked the six year old if he'd enjoyed the show, "It was f***ing sh*t," said the child.

He talked a lot to the crowd. He asked one man what he did for a living and the man said IT. "Information Technology," he then had to explain.

"Why didn't he just say that?" asked Danny. "I mean it's not like I come up here on stage and tell people I'm a C."

The crowd went wild. "Stop it, stop it," he said. "That's not what I meant and you know it."

I'm not sure how many of his stories are true. He does have a gift for making them SOUND true though, and I hope they are. My favourite story of the night took place in a men's toilet in Adelaide. 

Apparently Danny was followed into the toilet by an Australian chap. "Hey, you're that Danny Bhoy bloke," said the Australian. "Bloody funny, mate."

"Thank you," said Danny. And the two men took a cubicle each.

"Hey," said the man from his cubicle, "I've got a BLOODY FUNNY story for ya."

"Oh great," thought Danny. He didn't like people giving him "funny stories" at the best of times, and being given one from a public toilet was even worse. But the Aussie was unrelenting.

"So it was BLOODY HOT," said the Aussie. "So there I was - starkers - lying on top of me sheets last night. Finally managed to get to sleep. But when I woke up, I found a bloody MOZZIE had been having a go at me Old Feller."

"He meant his penis," explained Danny. "He wasn't sleeping with his father or anything."

"JESUS!" the Australian gentleman continued. "Right on the TIP of me nob!"

"Oh er ha ha ha," said Danny. Wanting to be polite and prove he'd been listening.

"Blew up like a bloody BALLOON," said the Aussie.

"Oh my goodness. Ha ha ha," replied Danny. Then the conversation went somewhere he really had been hoping it would NOT go.

"I'll show it to ya if ya want," said the Aussie.

"Oh ha ha ha," replied Danny.

"Seriously. It's a bloody HOOT," said the Aussie.

"So I thought, 'what the heck'," said Danny. "It seemed RUDE to refuse. And maybe there was a part of me that DID want to see a penis that had been bitten by a mosquito."

So he flushed the toilet, washed his hands and pushed open the door of the other cubicle, saying, "Come on, let's take a look at it, then."

ONLY TO FIND THE AUSSIE WAS TALKING TO HIS MATE ON THE PHONE.

"Jesus Christ! What're ya DOIN' mate??" exploded the Aussie.

"Oh. Er. Ha ha ha," said Danny again. And made good his exit.

It sounds too good to be true. But I hope it's true.

S.