I was doing...

...some gel plate printing with a hexagonal bubblewrap. I thought that was strange. Then I woke up from my dream, but what was even stranger was I could still see the hexagonal bubble wrap print over my normal vision.

It took a few minutes for it to clear/disappear.

I have never had a dream superimpose over my normal vision before.

Yesterday my art group were bemoaning the lack of some medicines when they went to collect their prescription. Some of them take medicines for cancer and they were worried the current crisis might mean they may not be able to get essential medicines they need.

When I went to collect my prescription medicines this morning, again one of mine was unavailable yet again. One that I need. For the last few months this has happened every time and I have had to go to lengths to chase it up.

This particular medicine is not available and neither are there any generic medicines of it available. Zilch. Nothing.

I do not have a GP any more. The GP's in our practice left suddenly. There are no doctors to run the surgery. The NHS are apparently running the surgery now, but I don't know what that means.

What it does mean for me is new people to explain my deafness problems to. And that causes big problems because I can speak and so consequently new people don't take into account that they need to face me etc etc. It is very stressful, and they make erroneous assumptions, and I miss what is being said, or I don't know it is being said.

The pharmacist said I would have to go to the surgery and ask them to work out some different medicine. My heart sank. I couldn't face it. It's new people, new voices to get used to...

The pharmacist must have realised from my face and as I said I just can't do it any more and I am going home. He told me just go home and he would contact them for me.

So I came home. I just didn't care any more.

I made a coffee and went with Popeye in the potting shed and didn't do much of anything. We just sat there. And the day got windier and windier.

I came in for a cuppa and the mail had been, and it was a card from a friend of mine who said her partner had died from illness, cancer. But they had told no one because she didn't want anyone to know. I have known them both since 1968.

Then I worked a bit on that painting. I have been doing it bit by bit with odds and ends of art materials I had found this last week. I was just checking the things worked or hadn't dried out. So I finished that painting up and photographed it.

Then a small parcel was delivered.
It was a book I had been reading on the archive.org site. I have already borrowed it a few times, but you can only have it a fortnight and there is a waiting list. I have completely read it, but I keep thinking of more I want to re-read in it. So, I found it online for a fiver and a couple of pounds postage.

I've just done some online research on my medicine and it turns out the drug company has withdrawn it from January this year. So I checked out the generic ones. They have disappeared too. There was the question whether they had been stockpiled and consequently unavailable now, or they have been diverted to another country.

Either way, the generic ones are not even available to me either.

I do have my 'deaf' cards to hand to people that I made years ago, but people get impatient now when I hand them out. I need something more immediately obvious.

I found some badges online, and there were 3 I was interested in for my purposes. In the end I ordered some blank badges, and I will design them to say what I want to say about my deafness. They will be on my jumper, in your face as you speak to me. I ordered quite large ones. They should arrive tomorrow.

I am sad today, no fight in me, want to disappear/hibernate. I need to go to sleep as soon as the sun sets.

The world is a fragile place, more so than it was 20 years ago.

Thank you for looking in and your love.
Take care x