No fish was harmed in the making of this blip

Well, I can report that the 'Portrait Worshop' was an unmitigated success disaster. A complete waste of time. When I could have been watching Masterchef in the warmth. And then in bed at a reasonable hour.

First of all, the studio was in an industrial estate - poorly lit roads, big buildings with dark windows and dark corners. Indeed, the sort of place Sara Lund likes to wander around with her torch - I spooked myself as I drove around, thinking that maybe I couldn't find it and I'd just go home.

There were 6 of us there. Two men who had the biggest camera bags I've ever seen, and the biggest lenses. I think they have done a lot of portraits and are thinking of starting up themselves. Why were they there then? Two women seemed to know a lot and had fairly big cameras.

There was a young woman there who had just been given an old camera, wanted to get into photography, and her boyfriend bought her this session. Not exactly the thing you plunge straight into, with the £100s worth of gear needed. AND she'd had to take two buses to get there, then walk along the spooky unlit Sara Lund road. Not the best present ever! I gave her a lift to her second bus when we finally escaped..

It soon became clear that this was not to be a 'workshop' as advertised, but a 'talk' or possibly a 'lecture'. We had all set up our cameras and tripods as per instructions. But we did not use them. At all.

The chap started talking at length about reflectors. He went over every kind, shape, colour, size, price etc. We were all still standing. I went and got a chair. Then everyone else began to realise the tone of the evening and found a seat. He talked for two hours. Lots of very technical stuff about metering and f stops and blah blah.

There was no model, so we had to volunteer. I did not rush to offer, but others did, maybe just so they could move a bit and get warm (it was freezing cold).

But he would take a photo, walk round showing us the shot on camera, then he'd add a reflector, take another shot, walk round showing us the difference. Then he'd take another shot, walk round ... - I was looking for the way out after an hour! This went on for the whole TWO HOURS. Him taking a photo with some lights on. Him showing us. Him taking a photo with another light. Him showing us. Him telling us how much his studio lights cost. Him telling us at length we must always focus on the eyes. (Wow! At least I learnt something...not!) That's not what I call a workshop!

Anyway, this morning Leo went swimming. I noticed a poster about a Christmas deal at the pool - 12 days for £12! That's a bargain! So I got a card, although I can't fit 12 days in before Christmas. Pity I hadn't seen it last week.

When I came back from the pool this morning, I looked around for a blip. I went into my dark room cupboard and tried a few light paintings with various props. I found some Ferrero Rocher stashed away for Christmas and thought that they'd make a nice prop. But I usually eat my foodie props, so I thought better of it.

Found this wee fish bowl. It's about an inch high. Waved one star light (with the rest of them stuffed up a black glove) and liked the effect on the glass.

So I've done my 20 almost lengths this afternoon. I've showered and put my PJs on under my clothes. 2.30pm. Quite early, huh? Is this a world record?