5 things I've really not liked about today.

1. Having my shortcomings thrust upon me. Why in gods name did I not just buy Ellis' present online instead of waiting and ending up being the kind of aunty that can't get it together enough to sort out presents on time.

2. All of that means I have to be in town on a weekend. Ah but wait, not just any weekend no it's 'one month til christmas'.

3. And the shortcomings come thick and fast. Not only am I in town OMTC but I do it all with a wet right foot. Why in gods name won't I get my boots fixed?

4. And there I am, any remaining notion I might have held on to of my christmas spirit is power hosed out of me with the onslaught; a wall of backs and bags, hedgehogs of wrapping paper, fogs of fag smoke and weary wains unruled and tangled in everyone's legs.

5. I spot this sign. First it makes me sad - a picure of this parrot chittering in the park and eaten by foxes. Then it dawns on me that it's made a break for it. As soon as the cage opened a crack and it's master turned it's back woosh, it's off. Heading towards the sun. That version was good for the parrot. Both versions pretty much suck for the owners.