Dear User

My Dear Princess & Dear Fellows,

You know, over the past 6 weeks I've probably spoken to about 150 people over 30 sessions on a new bit of software we just delivered.

This is not, strictly speaking, my job. But no other effer volunteered themselves so muggins got to do it. Mostly it was a drag. Delivering boring facts to bored people who were not interested. But sometimes it was fun. I discovered some groups were a good larf and I got to be cheeky with them.

For example, I usually started the session by saying I had written copious notes for them so they could all put down their pens. Later in the meeting if I spotted someone writing via my Skype camera, I would bellow at them, "PUT DOWN THAT PEN!" and give them a fright.

Well, it made me laugh.

I could often see them via their camera, but never switched on my own. When one group complained, I explained I was still in my pyjamas.

So it wasn't always dull. And today one of the nicer people wrote to me to ask a question. Here was my response:

Dear Zoe, it is lovely to hear from you again although I can't help but notice you only write when you want something. It is really very hurtful.

You say you are having issues when you hit the "Save" button. It appears you have bumped into the "Magdalena Bug". Did you know that, when you discover a new bug, we name it after you? Not that I'm encouraging you to break things.

The problem is that if the system detects a business which operates under too many sectors, it gets scared and wets itself. Hitting save repeatedly does not help.

STOP HITTING SAVE!

I promise we have a team of developers working on this right now. I'll threaten to take away their "Game of Thrones" privileges if they do not fix it soon. In the meantime I apologise for the inconvenience.

I hope you are having a lovely Monday. As for me, you are like the 3rd person I've spoken to today about The Magda Bug. That blooming Magda. What a troublemaker.

S.

p.s. Today's picture is of some sort of art thing down by the harbour. It is supposed to represent the bridge between the land and sea. However, it made me think of "The Children of the Corn" or "The Wicker Man". I watch too many horror films.