Big budget cinematic misery

"1st AD? Where is the 1st AD? I need more barbed wire in the background. Lighting? Lighting! Tone it down there. It's supposed to be Dublin on a wet November morning, not shaggin' Miami beach...

Well acted there, Joe. You pulled off that hint of grumpiness in the slumber. The rest of the extras were good too. Good idea to pack a few more of them into the carriage. And overheat it. The sweat beads on their foreheads were a nice touch.

Make sure that the score really conveys this suffocating impression of irreversible abject misery. Yeah, we can get Gavin Friday to compose it, he does abject really well...

Make up? Make up! Well done on the bags under Raheny_Eye's eyes. That close up when he opens the curtains at 6.30 am and it's pissing rain outside. How do manage to get that swollen look? And the purple hues? Very good the purple hues and broken veins.

Ok, have you got the rain machines ready for the arrival at Kilbarrack station? What? Ah FFS... 2nd AD? 2nd AD! I need them shaggin' rain machines working at full speed? What? Both of them completely out of action? I can't believe it... Ok, ok, I suppose we can pull it off with the post-torrential-rain-waterlogged-grey-suburbia look. But remember, lighting, keep it to a minimum! It has to be dark, grey, totally hopeless. We'll make Biutiful look like the Sound of Music by comparison.

Now, wardrobe, who the fuck picked those pretty shoes for the little girl? You're sacked! Away, away from my set!
Wardrobe assistant? Wardrobe assistant?! Get here fast. Find me the most horrible pair of grey Snickers you can find. Get this? Yeah, a pair that her older brother owned and that Raheny_Eye tries to sell to her as cool and unisex.
I want a 20 second close-up on her dejected little face. She is tired, grumpy, and most importantly, she hates her shoes.

That's how we lead into the jump-in-the-puddle-with-her-grey-secondhand- suede- shoes scene, when Raheny_Eye totally loses it. Make-up? Make-up! I want more foam on the corners of his mouth as he screams at her out of terminal frustration. And spittle too. Lots of it.

Ok, are we all set for the get-off-the-packed-commuter-train-onto-the-wet-platform-and-realisation-that-the-little-boy's-swimming-pool-bag-was-left-behind-with-5-second-flash-forward-to-the-wife's-screaming-scene?

We haven't got all day, we still have to film the ISO audit scene, when he arrives to the office in a sweat after the delay on the return train trip.
And the close up on his increasingly panicky swollen eyes as he obviously fails to pull off the bluff on the thoroughness of the recruitment process and the close monitoring of all suppliers.

Are we all ready to roll?"

"Raheny_Eye's Monday morning. Scene 17.... ACTION!"