Where Ugly Furniture Goes To Die

My Dear Fellows & Dear Princess Normal,

Get a load of this picture. It was in our flat when we moved in, ACTUALLY HANGING ON AN ACTUAL WALL.

I mean seriously WTF. Who would even BUY a picture like this, never mind put it up somewhere. I wonder if it is just another example of a landlady taking the p*ss.

Back in Stockbridge, we looked around the flat Mazza was staying in before she left and we moved in. It looked all right. There were some things we weren't keen on, but it was mostly fine.

However, in the MONTH between Mazza leaving and us moving in, Susan the Landlady SWUNG INTO ACTION. When we arrived, we found:

- A huge old-lady sideboard (which was KNACKERED by the way with broken doors)
- A funny old style Bakelite phone (not actual Bakelite)
- Some nasty @rsed old dried flowers that shed everywhere as soon as you picked them up

And it was not a big flat. It was TINY. That sideboard took up half our living space, it seemed. "Oh I thought you'd like it," said Susan the Landlady.

A likely bloody story. 

"My husband is sick of the sight of the bloody thing," is more how I think it went. You can sort of see the sideboard in this picture - and if you look closely you can see how the doors were coming apart.

Cazza was great. She built a little wardrobe-fort in Stockbridge. She put the two wardrobes side by side at 90 degrees against one corner, then shoved all the horrible cr*p in the space behind. It was perfect, apart from we wondered if the cats might get lost back there and come out covered in dust and dried flowers.

I can't wait to be a landlord one day myself. I will go to the nearest flea market and pick up the rankest, horriblest, most tasteless TAT I can find and force it upon my poor tenants.

I wonder if Miranda will let me buy this picture in preparation for that day?

S.