Cheese glorious cheese.

The most I ever spent on cheese was when I was in Amsterdam and had found a gorgeous Artisan cheese shop, I spent ages tasting and matching people to cheese for pressies and of course lots for me. I must have bought 20 cheeses.

Later, inevitably, I found myself sucking on a left handed fag in a coffee shop,
getting well and truly off my fucking face, as was my boyfriend.
At one point he had to come and find me in the loos, as I had completely
forgotten how to open doors, and he thought I'd been sold into slavery.

Somehow, after bouncing off every surface in the cafe we managed
to get to the hotel without drowning in a canal. I was smugly holding my shopping from that day and congratulating myself on not losing anything
even though I was crawling around the hotel bedroom on all fours, barking and
brushing my teeth and thinking everything was normal.

I woke up to find something on my chest. It was a big piece of cheese.
I looked at it for ages before I could work out what it was.
It had a big bite out of it. I sat up.

All over my side of the bedroom were 19 pieces of unwrapped beautiful
Artisan cheese. All with one bite out of it.