One Year

A year since my Friend died. I got on with the day. I messaged her daughters - a much harder day for them. I don't like to remember the day of anyones passing.
Found two more dahlias to pull out of their pots, put up some more decorations, ate lunch, wrote some Christmas cards. Vegan Jo called round and boom - anxiety kicked in. Fortunatly she had not realised the time and had to leave shortly after arriving! It felt that someone was looking after me! I calmed down and carried on. Finally just before bedtime I had the panic attack . No real surprise there. Maybe the strain of carrying on like it was any other day was not the right approach. She was there in my thoughts and trying to push the memories down just resulted in my emotions bubbling over. It still breaks my heart that she is gone.