Progress

Over the weekend I managed to drop my mobile phone - and now there is a big chunk missing from the screen. That didn't seem to be a problem to start with, but I found that eventually bits of stuff (tobacco, ear-wax, nail clippings, dandruff etc) started falling through the hole and getting lodged inside, clagging the whole thing up.

What it means is that I will have to get a new phone. Ordinarily, a brand-spanking modern version of a bit of equipment becomes an exciting improvement. In my experience with mobile phone upgrades, I reckon I can look forward to the volume and clarity in the speaker being worse than the old-one, the sensitivity to signal strength being worse than the old one, reliability being worse than the old one, and the bluddy buttons being smaller than the old one.
I will probably be able to access the internet (if I could press less than two buttons at a time), play mp3 tunes, and take hugely detailed photographs, but when it comes to making or receiveing a telephone call with any reliability, I bet I've got no sodding chance.