Oh What A Beautiful Coley!

The peace and quiet of a residential area of Bathgate was shattered at 5.20am this morning, with the sound of plates shattering.

An eye witness to the event, a Mr Tosh, told us what happened;

"One minute he was all nice, holding this bowl in front of me and saying, "See told you had food, look at this nice Coley", then all of a sudden there was a loud crash, dishes, food and water flying about the place".

"I looked up to see at least one broken bowl, munchies and Coley floating in my water dish and water sloshing around my munchies dish. And there he was kneeling in the middle of it trying work out what to clean up first, muttering and cursing away like a man possessed!"

"It was like a scene from Fawlty Towers.......Meece-Ter Fawlty, he's my favourite!"

"And I mean all because of a bowl of Coley! What is Coley anyway? Never see HIM eating Coley.....aw naw!"

A spokesman for Police Scotland said they were aware of the incident and, as is standard practice for all emergencies, would respond in 2 to 3 weeks.

Jackie Burd, Reporting Scotland, Bathgate

* Blip - a walk along the Almond at lunchtime.
* Extra -  minutes later!