Yee Haw

My Dear Fellow,

I have been let off the hook with Caro’s work night out. She wanted me to be there, and said the other spouses were coming along as well so I was prepared to do my sociable bit. However, the spouses have dropped out one after the other and although I said I would still come along, Caro has given me dispensation to stay home with the lads and watch horror filums and eat a fish supper.

Well, all right, I kind of added those final two clauses myself. But it was implied.

In fact, she came home early last night and found me watching “The 50 Best Horror Films You’ve Never Seen” on YouTube. It is one of those horrid countdown shows so beloved by cheap tv channels where talking heads pop up and say nonsensical things in a zany manner. But I mainly wanted to watch it to pick up some tips for scary films.

So far, I’ve only added 2 or 3 films to my list but that’s all right. I was actually surprised by how many of the films on the "never seen" list I’d seen. Some of them I saw at the actual cinema, ACTUALLY.

It's worrying. It is possible that I’m one of these freaky horror-film-fans. Does this mean I should wear leather knickers and get a piercing in a Bad Place? Do I need to invest in black make-up and a tattoo? Should I be listening to Slipknot as I type this?

Dear god. I couldn’t bear it. Maybe I’ll put on a Western instead.

Parsones