THIS is a job for...

My Dear Fellow,

I heard the sounds of life coming from Er Indoors at about 1pm today. Apparently she had a good night. She came in at 1am last night with a bag of well-wishing cards, presents, vouchers, a bottle of Prosecco and (unaccountably) several paper moustaches on sticks.

I didn't ask.

I went through to ask her how she was feeling.

"I'm not sure yet," she replied thickly.

So, because I've been there, I went out for the morning after recovery kit. Several packets of crisps, a bottle of Diet Coke, two fudge doughnuts and four sausage rolls.

It is now 4 hours later and she is looking much brighter. You should be able to get sausage rolls on prescription.

Parsones