Institutionalised by Education

So that's it. 

It's finally over.

3 years of me pulling through to get my degree, and here we are at the end of it. Or... are we? 

In fact, it hasn't been three years at all. No Sir, its been 18 years of education I am leaving all behind. Y'see I've always had a next step, a next thing I was going on to do. A-Levels, College, Uni... But now what? I would use the word underwhelmed but that would be wrong of me. I really have enjoyed my education even if 50% of it was pretty hellish. I wouldn't be who I am or have met the people I know now with out it. But here I am, 21 years old just finishing my degree. 

I think I was expecting some sort of weight to be off my shoulders, like I would suddenly feel the rush of freedom and run towards my future with open arms. 

But I'm not. 

All of sudden, after weeks of wanting it to be over and telling everyone soon I'll be a free woman. I see myself cowering in the corner holding onto marks, tutorial approval and my routine. I almost feel like I should be wandering the streets looking for something new to learn, or for some one of authority to tell me what to do next. 

But they aren't going too. 

I mean, granted, if I really wanted to carry on education I could. There's plenty of MA's or PhD's I could do, but why the bloody hell would I want too? Just so I have a bedtime again? No thanks. 

As much as I feel uncomfortable to say good bye to my education. I think I'm pleased to rid of it. It's always there if I need it, but I think it's time I got my big girl pants on and lived my life. A life where there's no grading, no miscommunication between teacher and student, no assessments or even weird group chats with people you don't really want to talk to. 

And on that note, I say farewell to university with my head held high and a quite but proud 'I did it' as I walk away. 

Happy Blipping.