Flowers for Artist Annie

I spent the morning looking for a poem that I wanted to send to Annie who lost her husband to Alzheimers' Disease yesterday. I couldn't find the poem but I found myself going through file folders of old letters and papers. They yielded some things I, and other family members had written about losses in our own family. My tears flowed freely after many years but they were good tears and good memories. The loss of loved ones will always be there, but the act of remembrance softens and mellows over time. 
                                 * * * * * * * * *
You walk through the grocery store.
Your life feels like a catastrophe written all over you.
But strangers just say, "have a nice day"...
How could they know the pain it causes?
Yet life goes on.

You feel as if you will never get over this loss
And in some ways you won't.
But the memories are yours forever...
The tender moments, the laughter, the sadness and the joy merge.
And life goes on.

Friends gather and don't know what to say
Bringing food, clinging to time honored conventions
because they care
You feel in a world apart, afloat, untethered, 
But life goes on.

The loss becomes a part of who you are
The memories of the past merge with the present.
You become a new person
Not lessened by your loss, but tempered by it
And life will go on.

Give yourself time
Give yourself space
Find peace in the unchanging things of the world.
There is no joy without sadness
But you will be the better for them both.
You won't forget one  who gave you so much to remember
You will realize that they become a part of you
And life will go on.