Silently Flowering

I started my life of not working nearly 3 years ago and looked forward to discovering what my natural rhythm would be. Well it seems to be potter in the am, sleep in the early afternoon, go at things like a maniac when I wake! I think the fitful nights sleep I am getting prompts the afternoon nap! 
I still have the feeling of guilt when I don't do something. I tried to reason this out by remembering how when I was teaching I did very little but work, all day, every evening and most of the weekend - it never seemed enough time to get everything done. So now I owe myself as much restful, idle time as I want! 
Before I did succumb to my afternoon nap I started the book I've been wanting to for ages. I hadn't done so earlier for a variety of reasons - visitors, the inability to  take in the written word as my brain has felt like mush recently, and the main reason because the book has become to represent some Holy Grail to me. For this reason I have been waiting until I felt in the right headspace to approach it, and trepidation set in that when I started it I would find it a disappointment.The book is by Sara Maitland - A book of Silence.
By page 22 I was already totally enraptured with it! She wrote of the tautology of silence and solitude " that space where the social self and the ego dissolve into a hyper awareness where sound, and particularly language, gets in the way." She then wrote of the menopause and how even in the past in both stories and myths, women are princesses and mothers, then they disappear to reemerge as aged crone. She wonders whether turning to solitude and silence might be linked to this life event. How women's bones can become hollow like a birds due menopause, and how this to her linked to women finding their own self sufficiency and freedom in the menopause - flying like birds.She then went on to write about the silent joy of gardening!
Well all of this resonated so beautifully and clearly with me. I have always loved being on my own and after a noisy day at work where I did nothing but talk as my children were non-verbal and I had a large number of staff to manage,  I would come home to a house where the last thing I wanted was noise! I wanted the silence to calm me after doing multisensory activities all day! The allotment at the weekend was my place of happiness, and I loved it when noone else was there! Menopause? Big tick for that!!
I stupidly suggested the book for Book club at the last meeting ages ago and immediately regretted it and tried to retract it - plus I did not want to host it in my house. But they said meet in the pub instead! Well I have no intention of going to the next meeting and having this book desecrated by a discussion in the pub! In fact I spoke to Colourful Mai on our walk about leaving the book club as it just seems for some a reason to get drunk,  the book is never really discussed at a level that engages me and makes me think. 
Anyway, back to the day. I felt quite overcome with the deliciousness of the book and closed my eyes and listened to the sounds of the village amidst the silence - the birds, the cows, the humans, as the wind gently cooled me through the open window. Pure pleasure.
After a light snooze I then sprang into action - 4 huge planters hauled out from where they had been languishing and their contents spread over the front garden. This took quite some time! So the dahlias I intend to plant in them will have to wait until tomorrow. Tilly and Polly had been getting quite fantic in their cordoned off area in the garden and were ecstatic at being let free to scratch in the area the planters had been in! I made myself dinner and listened to Sally Yates testify to the senate. Surely the net is closing in on Trump? 
On balance not such an idle day and definitly one with many pleasures. My blip is of my  Sansevieria which seem to like their new home - many sending out flowering shoots in all directions - much beauty to come from their silent growth methinks!