To Lose One Parent, Mr. Worthing...

My Dear Fellow,

Today dad and I had a hearty breakfast at The Principal, pausing only to get lost in the hotel three times.

Then we picked up Shetland Dad for an afternoon at Holyrood Palace which we all enjoyed. At least I think we're all enjoying ourselves, let me just count the dads and check...

WE ARE MISSING A DAD! DAD ALERT! ONE OF THE DADS HAS ESCAPED!!!

Shetland Dad went off ahead of us. He wan't interested in the audio guide. But if I pay for an audio guide I will EFFING WELL listen to the audio guide. Without the audio guide, Holyrood Palace is transformed from an historic site of significant import, to a bunch of crappy old rooms full of pictures of blokes in smocks and wigs.

I TAKE HISTORY SERIOUSLY. ESPECIALLY WHEN I'VE PAID BLOODY £17.50 TO SEE IT.

But off Shetland Dad skipped from room to room. I thought we would catch him up in the tea room. The old folk can't resist a cup of tea and a curly sandwich.

But no. Shetland Dad had vanished. No answer from his mobile, nor his home phone.

I have just now - 4 hours later - located him. He claims he was looking for us the whole time. But I bet he gave us the slip on purpose and went off to look at girls.

Honestly, these old fellas. You have to keep your eye on them. Now I am back at the hotel and my dad has gone to church leaving me watching "Come Dine With Me".

At least that's what he TOLD me he is doing. Who knows what mischief is actually taking place?

The three of us are going out again soon. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Parsones