Swindon: Britain's most dangerous town

I'm in Swindon for a meeting in this very important room.

I would have thought Swindon would be quite a safe place, but the notices all around the Jurys Inn where I have been staying would suggest otherwise. You can't even call a lift without using your hotel room key, under no circumstances should you leave valuables in your room, and - as can be seen from this blip - opening your bedroom window is a complete no-no.