Over Yonder

By Stoffel

The Safety Dance

My Dear Fellow,

Today was the day that Hurricane Doris hit Scotland. It sounds way more dramatic than it was. In actuality, it just meant that a few IT people got a bit damp on the way in to work this morning. At least, that was my experience of it. Sitting in a room of damp programmers. There are worse things.

I tried in vain to capture it in a picture. The above is my result and pretty damn poor it is. The rest of my work day was spent in vain trying to find a manager who would be willing to take responsibility for something. They were all too busy to be taking responsibility so all my efforts  came to naught, except I get paid anyway and told what I great job I am doing.

Whatever.

All day long I was thinking about the evening, which saw me, Er Indoors, Princess Normal and Lisa at The Cambridge Bar for burgers and drinks. Me and Er Indoors got there an hour early and had a great time chatting about stuff, which is weird. We talk more and better at the pub than at home. I guess it is the surroundings and the fact we are not talking about the cats or what to make for dinner. We need to do this more often.

I drank my safety drink. Which is rum & coke. I told Lovely Niece #2 the concept of the safety drink last year. It was my gift to her. It is the thing you can drink all night long without feeling the need to spew or sing at the end of it. Safety.

I wish someone had told me of the concept of The Safety Drink at 18. Or 24. Or 36. Or 40. It could have saved me so much trouble.

Still, I am pretty drunk right now I realise. And alongside this thought. An opportunity. I thought I would do the blip now. In the moment. As close to the time as possible.

Because I've had a great night. I don't think I said very much. I just listened and I love hearing all the stories and the laughter. All three women are great storytellers. We talked of drunken weddings, of vaginal lipstick, of films and telly, of unfortunate tattoos, of pooing and spewing AT THE SAME TIME. Oh, and Uncle Kevin's zip might have come up.

I'm not saying it was always intellectual. But it was always fun. And I thought if I write about it now, I can keep it, somehow. That's sort of what this whole blip thing has been about for me - a way to hold on.

But the fact is I can't. I wish you could bottle a moment, to uncork and sample later but that is not how it is. I can't save a moment any more than I can blip a rainstorm. 

That ended up being way more philosophical than I meant it to. Ah, my safety drink has failed me.

El P.

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