42...

Im done. Finished. I've been beaten down to the core and I've got nothing left. Short version - Noah and I have been great the past few days...I got my hopes up...started to open up at the possibility of trusting him and out of the blue...it just all came apart.

This is the last time I will do this. I saw a very ugly side of Noah that I didn't want to see. He really scared me. I don't want to be with him, I actually don't want a thing to do with him. You know - sometimes love just blinds us, but I had to see it with my own eyes and that I did.

Im not going to lie, I had expectations (and faith) of us working things out, because I truly and honestly love him still. The past few days have absolutely been great for me, but he has become another person. And that's OK, people change in relationships, go down different paths...this is his path and he needs to be on it, alone.

But it still hurts. I do know that I'm in love with someone who doesn't exist anymore. I will always love Noah. Oh trust me, he has made this decision easy for me. Very easy as a matter of fact. I'm seeing him in a totally different light. It's what he wants. He has no faith in us rebuilding our relationship and that's all I needed to hear.

Wiping my hands of it all. I will be just fine. Moving on to my next adventure. There may already be one in waiting...