Over Yonder

By Stoffel

The Party Flat

My Dear Fellow,

Do you remember this flat? We weren't in it for very long. Er Indoors and I moved in there the Spring of 2000.

It was great, I was working in Thistle Street at the time, I used to roll out of bed, into the shower, around the corner and was in work in 20 minutes flat. Plus it was the best party flat ever. Do you remember the huge living room slash dance-floor ? And all the other flats were holiday lets only so we could make as much noise as we liked. Our parties were legendary. We'd fill the bath with ice, throw in the beers and turn up our stereo. I remember one party ended with a bloke with his pants around his ankles while his girlfriend whipped him with his own belt.

Just to be clear. None of those people were me. 

I also remember dancing around our living room with you to "Sweet Transvestite" too. And pretending to surf on the table to the theme from "Hawaii Five-O". 

The parties were great, but even better was the fact that we had a man living in our cupboard. Every week "Bokhara" Burnes would come to ours on a Monday and stay until Thursday working at Slack. We loved living with Bokhara. The three of us had the same sense of humour, the same taste in films and I learned so much about cooking. There are still some recipes in my repertoire I picked up in those days.

We weren't there very long. Our round-the-world journey started that winter. I remember one last farewell party. 

Two of our friends turned up off their heads on E. We did our best for them and I remember when they left I got a big kiss on the cheek from the lady and Er Indoors got big smack from the bloke.

On her way out, the lady confessed to Er Indoors, "We're both a bit too up from the E. So I had to take Bloke to the toilet and do him a quick favour. Then he did the same to me."

Ew. Ew. EWWW. I washed my face a few times but never felt properly clean. Clearly, you can take the partying too far.

Incidentally, that has nothing to do with anything that happened today. Which was mainly just boring work stuff.

El P.

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