Goodnight Grandad

So on Sunday 20th of November came the call from my Aunt to say all was not well in London and Grandad's chest infection that wouldn't go away was a lot worse than we all anticipated. I was to "be prepared" for the worst. Who really knows what that means. It's a difficult thing to process when for so long you've willed for someone to leave this world so that they can be at peace and not live in such an undignified way anymore. Grandad was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia when he was 69 years old, 10 years ago! The first few years were ok, then it went down hill. Just as we got used to him being one way, it would all change so rapidly. These last 3-4 years have been the hardest, especially on my Nan. She is an absolute diamond in the rough and never ever gave up on caring for him. There was talk years back of when the time might be to find him long term residential care, but she resisted. Then just as she was coming around to the idea he became bed bound and so keeping him at home with the offer of home carers and support was the chosen option. Never, ever did I think it would work out so well. 

The care that was able to be provided at home for my Grandad not only kept my Nan sane, but it gave him a one-to-one level of care we could not have got anywhere else. It made my Nan feel in control, it gave her support and company on days the family couldn't be there and she could participate without causing harm to herself. The carers who came into her home daily over the last 3-4 years have become part of the family and I cant thank them enough for all they did for my Grandparents. 

I flew down to see Grandad on the night of the 22nd for a few days, meeting my brother and Mum there with the rest of the family. The Doctor had advised the day before that he had 2 days to 2 weeks to live. I was so glad to be able to go for a few days, to be with my family and my Nan and to say the last things I wanted to say to him. I will never, ever, ever, be able to put into words the love I have for this man. 

I was super reluctant to take a photograph, never mind share one, but how could I not. This is one of the most important moments of my life so far and I never want to forget it or him. This was the last time I held his hand and the moment I said goodbye to him. I left him to go to the airport, but boy did I want to stay. Walking away from him in that moment was by far the hardest thing for me to do. However my Mum stayed with her siblings and Mum. I flew back to Scotland on the 6am flight the next day. I wanted him to go before my Mum's birthday which was due to be the Sunday (27th). He chose to stick around for that,  he left us at 8pm on the 29th of November 2016 at home, with his kids and wife right by his side, where he belonged. I couldn't think of a more beautiful way after all the wickedness of the last 10 years. 

Sleep tight Grandad. I love you, forever, Cheryl. x

(3/1/17)