No yoke!

Having been plagued by Vodafone for the past two weeks that my contract was due for renewal I decided to take a trip to their shop in Glasgow and get me a fancy new phone as my daughter's phone broke and to a 19year old being without a phone is like being naked, I gave her mine and decided to get a new one.
On my way to Glasgow I stopped at the Rest & Be Thankful car park as there is a guy selling snaxs there. I goes up to him and orders a bacon & egg roll "how do you like you yoke, hard or turned?" "soft" says I. "you will end up wearing it" says he! "I won't" say I. Anyhow I gets the roll with a perfect tremgling egg yolk and he was so convinced I would make a mess he gave me extra napkins! Off I go to my car with my shoogly egg and lay it gently on the dash, as I was in a short sleeved shirt and was cold Iput on my fleece, then as I was about to bite into my luscious wobbly egg, I saw 2 frog eyed kids sitting in the car next to me and not wanting to give them any eggstra entertainment I moved my car to the lower end of the carpark.
Gingerly I lifted the wibbley eggy roll and scientifically surveyed it for a moment then bit into it. Sublime....and not a dribble . Full of confidence I set about demolisihng said jelly like eggy roll and was chuffed to bits at not spilling a single bit.
Got into my car, drove up to the guy's trailer , jumped out the car and hoisted up my jumper and shouted "look no eggy bits"
Well the two bewildered lorry drivers who had not been privy to our earlier conversation & challenge almost choked over their coffee especially when one said he thought I had shouted "look no eggy TITS"
Shows where his mind was!
To cut a long story short.... I chose my phone only to be told I still had 5 days left of my contract to serve! Would you credit that. What a yoke!

Photo is of the rapidly sliding mountain and for good measure there are traffic lights to stop you so you can see the said mountain rumbling down towards you!