I Jew

The Groom and Bride, enjoying the edge of the hurricane which meant they had to bring their wedding forward a day.


Under: a poem Boy wrote for the occasion of the Welding of G and S



December 13th, 2014,
He's the finest Jew that Wilmington has ever seen
His hair is all done, and he's ready to go
Up the stairs to level 5, it's time to put on a show
But wait, who's that there, standing by the bar
In a barrage of light that he saw from afar

He abandons his Scots, who are still killing it on the floor
And knows he has one chance to get his foot in the door
He approaches the girl, and he gives her the eye
She worries he's having a stroke, but accepts a drink with a sigh
Then the charming begins, and it can't be stopped
He's a magician, a fox, a Jewish David Hasselhof
Then it starts to get blurry, is it love? or is it drugs?
Why is his Scottish friend licking the window? What did she just chug?

What madness possessed her, she does not know
But two years later, he is still in tow.
She wakes every morning, to the sight of him there
And the roar of his snore always filling the air.
And the ring on her finger serves as a reminder
Of the marriage looming that will soon bind her
But as he wakes, with a yawn and a fart
She remembers how happy she's been from the start
And no matter the day, the week, or the minute
She never questions her heart or what's in it
Well actually, when he plays FIFA, she can get mad
But she doesn't understand that video games are an important part of life for some guys, and we get pretty pissed when women do women stuff when we don't want to either, so really you shouldn't complain that much.

But back to the story, we're stood here today
Wedding dress on, and vows on the way
She now knows it wasn't drugs, it was love all along
He didn't need to use the roofies, the connection was strong
Now a hurricane bears down , but it didn't put us off
The destruction of the east coast won't stop us saying mazeltoff

And now it's almost time, it's your last chance to turn back
It's no biggy if you change your mind, we'll still drink away your bar tab
But if you're both ready, and without further ado,
It's time for those two words...I Jew. I jew. I jew.