The drink you have.... NO!

As previously noted, non-alcoholic drinks that taste like alcoholic drinks are an absurdity. However, the greatest of them all is Claytons, a relic of 1970s Australia that continues to be sold today - non-alcoholic whisky. Yes, whisky. It was advertised in the 70s and 80s in Australia as "the drink you have when you're not having a drink", a slogan that earned some advertising copywriter plenty of money to buy real whisky. Claytons became synonymous with something that was not what it seemed, especially the "Claytons Cop", a cardboard cutout of a police officer or police car left near accident black spots that meant drivers reduced speed out of force of habit. I was utterly perplexed as to Claytons' continued availablilty in supermarkets and elsewhere in 2012 - especially given the number of good things that used to be sold in Australia that you can no longer buy. As always, there was a practical explanation.
Old mate: "Publicans mix it with real Scotch. How else do you think they do the cheap spirits nights for drunken teenagers? Also means the drinks aren't so strong, so the kids don't get rowdy so quick." In non-alcoholic whisky, veritas.