Mending & Thankfullness
Sometimes, nowadays, I am grateful for the medication my psychiatric said I should take - on my childhood background's sake, the doc said. I have been told that the med is light but functional, gives me shelter against pressive things. The med has no side effects, but I can recognize that it helps a little.
So, even after yesterday's happenings I have had good night sleep and today have been only wondering about yesterday and what is wrong with my mum. I can not understand how she says that I am proud, glitzy, omnipotent snug. Am I so corrupted somehow that I can not recognize this behaviour in me? I feel actually myself quite humble and socially friendly person with lot of activities and friends. Can she be jealous for me??? Or is she actually a narsist?
In the afternoon I visited my step-mother. She had some problems with her computer and I helped her. Afterwards we had cup of coffee and her pancake. (Delicious!) And I accidentally cried my agony for her - how my mother has been so difficult again - and telling how I am like a question mark towards my mother's behaviour... So this wise old lady, my step-mum, former a head of nursing, first listened me and then explained the situation. She told me all I needed to know: Psycological issues why maybe the situation is like this. Why my mother is calling me names.... I listened carefully and finally begun to feel so reliefed.
I am so grateful for my darling step-mother!
What comes to my own mum, I leave her alone for now on. Maybe it is the best.
There is a world amount to thankfulness and hugs my step-mum deserves. She knows how I think about her being the best that ever has happened of my family!
In the evening I mended the laundry basket, replaced the broken lit. In the blip.
Susanna
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