Chocolate faced, “SPINY HEADED CACTUS!”

I gave myself a haircut in the living room today.
I used the big mirror on the wall and snipped and clipped away.
I’d watched the barber trim it, so I knew just what to do.
When one side got uneven then I cut the other, too.
I’d save my mom ten dollars, which I knew would make her pleased.
But I lost an eyebrow when I accidentally sneezed.
I couldn’t see behind me, so I guessed to chop the back.
Then Mom came ’round the corner 
and she dropped her grocery sack.
Her only words I can repeat are
 “SPINY HEADED CACTUS!”
I guess next time I cut my hair 
I’ll use Angus for practice. 


-Shel Silverstein