Music

I have been going through photographs of Music, trying to find just one that could express the moment of his departure. The more recent ones (I have so many) nearly tore me apart. His weariness and the effort that accompanied his days were so obvious to me. His eyes were going dark. On walks we were moving in slow motion, and his pain is evident in his stance. Not photographed were the many times his legs gave out. I mopped floors and washed beds most days. And truly, the sadness that he seemed to exude when I passed his bed where he stayed for most of every day could have been his, but just as easily could have been mine.

Pearl and I both encouraged him to go out for little outings. Pearl stayed by him, fancied herself his most essential caretaker. She also slept close to him every night. He didn't always appreciate her devotion. Since Friday, when Dr. Randall found cancerous tumors in various places in Music's body, and together, we made that most difficult of decisions, Pearl and I have been grieving in the silence that Music's absence leaves. Pearl looks for him in his bed, and then does this upstairs/downstairs thing before finally settling on my bed to sleep close to her second choice.

Music has moved on: I imagine him refreshed and pain free, running on Heaven's beach with his sister dog, Star, who left us two years ago. I know that some sort of freedom not known for a very long time is his. For Pearl and myself, life continues on this strange and wonderful place called earth.

Unable to publish one of the more recent photographs, I scanned this picture taken by my son Vanja when Music first blessed my life with his puppy sweetness. I know that many will miss this precious animal. The veterinary clinic and all those loving and helpful people, many of whom had known and cared for Music for all of his seventeen years, have expressed their sadness. My family members, too, have grown accustomed to his gentlemanly promenade around this place. And blip friends, too, have admired his occasional appearance here. Thank you all for sharing with me a remarkable companion. Thanks for patience, too. I have gone on and on. Please forgive my lack of commenting lately...