People Watching

Sitting in Café Nero watching the word go by and failing to read my book.

The day after the night before and I am suffering. My anxiety has been constant today and I have had to talk to myself a lot to get going. It took me 4hrs to get into the shower and get ready.
I then went out for coffee but then I didn't want to be there, so came home. Once home I didn't want to be there either. My chest pounding, short of breath, hot and in tears  it escalated into a panic attack which took a few hours to feel calmer. Self harm didn't do much good. I still have the chest pain, and agitation.
I wish I could understand all of this.