Logically Speaking . . .

Little Jimmy (Aged 6): "Mommy, I have an existential question for you. My teacher says we are what we eat and, therefore, we shouldn't eat the meat of farmyard animals. But this pig is eating corn. Does that mean I can eat him when he gets older . . . because, following teacher's logic, I won't be eating bacon, I'll be eating a vegetable?"

Mommy: "Bloody schools. I knew we'd have trouble when they added philosophy to the sodding curriculum. Now, shut up and eat your tofu, you little swine."