The unfortunate demise of Cheeques

We were not yet past Salford when the engine room of Cheeques began making horrific crunching noises. As determined as we were to hit the site of our own D.I.Y festival early to get to work, it couldn't be denied that this was one unhappy bus . . Loaded up with a load of people's stuff, including a 16 foot trampoline [essential site decoration] + determined to make it, we churned and yearned our way along another busy junction, only to find our hefty bottom was beginning to go backwards up a particularly excruciatingly small incline. So McDonald's car park it was; a joyful landing spot with a few depressed cars of people munching on salt and gristle.

A glum hour later, with the night folding in on us + thunder clouds apparently forming, a ginormous pick-up truck came crashing through the small gates at alarming rates spiralling around impossible spaces, with us waving cautiously to identify ourselves. "F#@!ing s@#!te what the F#@! is that bloody mess?" a small stocky man bellowed out at us whilst leaping off his wagon. Without much more conversion, it soon became obvious he wasn't going to be looking at the injuries of Cheeques, like our last hopeful wish had forecast but wasted no time in hoisting a suspiciously thin metal cord and attaching it to the front of the bus. And so, the delicate operation of the rescue operation of Cheeques is pictured and I can withhold writing about the traumatic experience of seeing Dan six foot high steering a 3 tonne bus, almost keeling over the side of the pick-up.

The swearing pick-up man swore all of the way home, ringing his mates + belching along the lines of "I've got one of em f#@!ing passion wagons or summit, they're like real life gypsies or them traveller types. F#@!ing hippies I'd say, yeah, real hippies!" We took his exclamations in as good humour as we could perched high up in the recovery cabin, even though turning around and seeing Cheeques strapped onto an emergency vehicle "flapping abooot like a c@!t" broke our hearts. Until he nudged Dan and said "Get er' a bottle of wine later, that'll shut 'er up, keep 'er happy". No more smiles, Si's garden couldn't come soon enough.