long time no speak!

wow, been like 2 weeks since ive been on here,
a fair bit has happened,
ive been to download, which was fucking amazing, saw some amazing bands and met a really nice guy called Chris, and he's so sweet.

then there's josh,
we've kissed a few times now,
but then there's his ex, who always gets in the picture.
like always
i do like him, alot, but i dont know where the fuck i stand, if anywhere. he says that theres something there, but i dont know anymore, i believed it i really did, but its just hit me.
i cant handle it.
my head is fucked up.
big time.

is it worth it?
i keep asking myself the same thing,
over and over and over again.

do i keep getting dragged along? if its not his ex its another girl, im sick of it.

wish Chris lived closer, then maybe things would be easier for me to forget about Josh. but i cant.
I can't let go.

now i fucking miss Shaun, the last person i want to think of right now