Archie agrees

Popped up to the doc's to top up my supply of drugs for the impending trip. Of course, I had to tell him I was going on a luxury cruise... Actually, I missed a trick not announcing it to the full waiting room...

And when I was waiting in the chemists, an old man sat down beside me, and I couldn't help but tell him too. I told the assistants that I was stocking up for my luxury cruise. I should have really just put a small ad in the paper...

I spotted this desirable little item on blip the other day, and have been trying to persuade JR to spend the summer jaunting round Britain in one. To no avail. Today I spotted one in our street!! I had to go and have a peer in the windows while the folk were packing their car. They were off to the West Coast - I do hope they get a bit of decent weather, because you can't beat the West Coast of Scotland for scenery.

The chaps came to fit the secondary glazing. At last. Archie greeted them, but then had to be kept in the kitchen because they were out and in with stuff and the gate was open. He lay on his day bed with big exasperated sighs and little growls slipping out now and again as they rattled around in his house.

I can put it off no longer. Well, I can actually, but I'd better not - sorting out my luxury cruise 'wardrobe'.

In the bumph it is suggested that for evening wear 'ladies should wear a dress...'  I haven't worn a dress since a college ball in 1971!! And then it was only under duress. And it was more of a frock, really.

It does 'allow' dress pants ... I may be able to rustle up a pair of passable ones that I can still get into, otherwise I'll be confined to my cabin (complete with bottomless minibar) with my personal butler bringing my meals. Which, come to think of it, sounds a rather pleasant alternative...

I really think they should just say 'a reasonable standard of dress is required' ie no (old faded) jeans, garish trainers, football colours etc in the evenings.

Or even better - 'As you're paying a small fortune, you can wear whatever the heck you like!'

Archie agrees with me.