I'm a failed Cinderella!

I'll never be a Cinderella! I have no idea whether I'll ever have my fairytale ending but my walking boots wouldn't go with the beautiful glittery ballgown. There is no way I'm mincing up the runway in glass high heeled slippers. I'd almost certainly trip down the airplane steps and land inelegantly on my arse with my legs in the air, long over the knee stripey socks and tartan knickers on display.

I thought about murdering the two men in the next room last night/this morning. They were having a noisy conversation and laughing loudly at 3am which carried on until after I dozed off again. I won't describe anything else but I made LOADS OF NOISE at 6:30am to get my own back when I got up, singing/howling at the top of my voice and slamming drawers and wardrobes repeatedly.

I was down at my usual time for my last breakfast this trip and savoured everything, especially the haggis. By the way, this was supposed to be a quickie!

Later, when I was sat in my plane seat staring gloomily out waiting for takeoff, the announcement came that they had engine trouble and we all had to get off and be taken back to the terminal building. I promise I did not sabotage the plane even though I would be happy to stay in Edinburgh forever!

To cut a long story short, after a lot of hanging about, I finally landed at 16:02 instead of 13:55. It was an older, creakier plane and just like the Flintstones, we all had to run along the runway and jump on a count of ten and then flap our arms all the way back to Brum.

Seriously, it was a slightly older plane. We were all sat back in our seats and the plane was taxiing down the runway when I noticed the propeller next to me wasn't going round. I shut my eyes and pretended to be asleep with one eye open. Someone in front of me pressed the call button but the propeller suddenly burst into life. The Dutch hostess - she was wearing clogs, errrr no I'm good with accents - assured everyone that everything was fine. There was then a ripple of nervous laughter. I think the recent plane disaster with the depressed pilot has made people a bit jumpy.

We were offered free soft drinks to make up for the delay so I ordered a gallon of coke. I'm kidding! I had a brandy and ginger with cheese and onion crisps just like the classy bird you know I am.

Ah well. I'm here in Brum again. The carnival of life goes on.....

Would you believe that the 'excitement' wasn't over? At Birmingham airport, I waited patiently by the luggage carousel watching cases appear and disappear as their owners claimed them and trotted off into the Brum drizzle. I stood there like an expectant parent along with four other passengers staring hopefully into that fringed hole which had stopped spewing cases out. Eventually we gave our names and addresses to the unfortunate airport worker. I was less than halfway home when I was phoned and informed that my case had been found and would be sent round in a taxi later. Phew! Reading between the lines, some lazy article had just not cleared the hold out properly. My poor case! I thought it was still in Edinburgh living it up!

I miss and love you Edinburgh. Look after yourself while I'm away. In the words of Arnie 'I'll be back!'

Track? Well I haven't played this fab Nazareth one for a while! - This Flight Tonight