Delayed response

First of all I hate crying in front of people. My grief was private and even my closest friends Ingrid and Shelly have seen me cry very few times. In a crowd it's hard.
We had a choral rehearsal tonight. (Not my band) We are performing a song called "Emily Remembers"
It's about a woman with Alzheimer's.
Emily remembers, her past but forgets it's her birthday. ....but I remember for her. She forgets how much she loves me....well you can guess the rest. I just lost it. As I am as I write this. It's hard to sing this song. I don't know what I will do. The last time we performed a song for a member of our chorus dying of Alzheimer's ...."do you remember?...... It was so hard. I cried through that song. While we were performing it.
There are some songs that hit me this way. Come into The Firefly Darkness" is very hard for me as is "Lake Isle of Innisfree"  they all evoke memories. I can't wait for the day when the memories make me smile rather than cry. So Tonight I started to cry and had to leave the room. No I started to sob. Crying makes me throw up. So I had to stop. After the dam breaks it has to run its course. My friend Larissa came out to see me. She is so awesome. Sat quietly near me while I cried. That's what I needed. Not platitudes, not I understand, or you should be over this by now, all things that have been said at one time or another ( I think of you Fluffy). So I have to get it together. Until the next time.........I just hope it's more private.People stare and wisper.....again I hate to share my grief.
So we sang another song tonight. It's written by a man named Allister MacGillvray. I think he is from Nova Scotia.
Anyway, I love these women and I am happy to sing with them.
To them:
The candle flickers towards its last,
our time together's ended.
The evening sped so swiftly past no richer way to spend it
Before we head our separate ways I'ld like in truthfulness to say
You've made this day a special day with songs and kindness splendid
Here's to song
Here's to time
Here's to both with friends of mine
Here's to friends that raise their voices high
Kings have riches widely lain
Lords have land but then again
We have friends and songs no wealth can buy.

Again another day I am blessed and loved.
Yeah I can't ask for more. Wealth, it's subjective.
So almost good morning Downunder and have a great day to the north. May you be as blessed.

And thanks Larissa and Sara. You know what to say.