Holding my little family a bit closer today. So many 'if onlys'. Henry would have been six years old today. It's hard not to think about what we should be doing today. If only. And why? Still why why us, why our family, why our beautiful perfect little baby. Still no answer.

So we held these two a little tighter and planned a family day at Dovedale, walking peacefully just us and the comforting sound of the river bubbling past. Just trying to hold back the waves of grief that sometimes knock us down flat.

This time six years ago he was in my arms and I could hold him close and tell him how much I love him and keep telling him till he slowly slipped away.