Completely predictable.....Part 3

I've been studying the stars all afternoon (Cary Grant and James Stewart, if you must know) and here are my final astrological forecasts for 2015.

VIRGO: A chance meeting with Andrew Lloyd Webber leads to you being the subject of his new Broadway show, 'Unbelievably Ugly'.
You're angry, hurt and appalled....he'd promised to call it 'Hugely Hideous'.

LIBRA: In June, after 35 years, you suddenly decide to shave off your beard and moustache!
Perhaps it's now time to tell the children that you're really their mother.

AQUARIUS: A night class in genealogy leads to the startling discovery that you're a first cousin of Colonel Gadaffi.
This goes a long way to explaining your love of tents.

PISCES: Your application to become CEO of NASA is rejected. You are, however, approved for (limited) membership of the Bruce Forsyth Fan Club, so all is not lost.

For more personalised forecasts, please send a large cheque asap. I have an expensive Malteser habit to maintain....