This is not quite.....

.....what I expected that white haired geriatric old barsteward to deliver! Yes it's a bike, yes it has gears and lights. Pity the gears are all rusted together and the lights are dimmer than me.

Fifty sheds of grey.

"Our bodies heaved and lurched frantically against each other for hours. It was the last time I caught the 5.15 from Paddington."