World keeps on turning

I actually had this strange sensation this morning as I sat in the staffroom. I kind of detuned, partly to avoid questions because I can't bear to think about it all to be honest. As I sat there, I felt out of body - like I was watching me sat there with the hustle and bustle of the morning activities taking place. Through my own eyes it felt that there was so much going on, but that it was all taking place in slow-mo. It was strange indeed.

I am not sure how I made it through the day because it has been painful beyond belief. I have been closed off, locked in my own head, replaying the situation from yesterday, wondering if I did something wrong, didn't say enough etc. I am still angry. I am still very sore.

I am pondering on a different decision that I took this afternoon, in discussion with two other colleagues (to make sure that I wasn't overstepping the mark). I am wondering if I am going to find that coming back to bite me on the arse on Monday. Probably. Although, I am past caring - some people, teenagers especially, need to realise that there are more important things going on than their temper tantrums, and that life often isn't fair, isn't straightforward and frankly they need to suck it up.

I came home and went straight to bed. Typical friday night. Makes me sad that this has been happening for so long that James and Corin expect it of me now.

I want to be fixed. I want to be well. I want to turn WITH the world, and not just observe it passing me by whilst I have no energy to join in.

On a positive note, an extended version of the BBC Sky At Night programme was on last night. I watched it this evening and to my absolute delight, I found that my interview was an extended version and that they also included my image of Saturn was also included along with some other comments that I had made during the interview. In all, probably about 2 minutes of airtime with 3 images. It's not going to stop entertaining me at all! The extended version is here ..
2 minutes in - my moon pic
15.45 - one of my comments mentioned in relation to imaging La Superba
23.00 - image and comments relating to Saturn
26.30 - the interview!