Cutting

My obsession with purple seems to have gone a step too far - when Corin came home with a new ceramic kitchen knife a couple of days ago and he had picked up one with a purple handle and cover!

I am in a very dark and angry place right now.

I want a knife to cut out the bits of me that are hurting. If I was an angry person I might think evil thoughts involving a knife.

Physically, it's been a bad day.

Emotionally, it's been an absolute git.

It's difficult to be balanced, particularly when I thought that guilt and blame had been put to bed...to see the finger of blame and the burden of guilt being unashamedly directed at me this afternoon made me feel sick.

More sick that I briefly questionned myself. I have never questionned my decision before.

I have stopped that now.

Now to update the pain diary and to make sure that everything I need to take to the hospital for my appointment tomorrow is ready. If I am in this amount of pain then it should not be difficult to articulate how I am feeling.

Can I wholeheartedly recommend Richard Hawley's new album "Standing at the Sky's Edge" - it's a belter.