Spring Ritual

So join me now as we quietly observe one of contemporary man's spring rituals.
Here, in a clearing in Blackburn, we find HomoCelticus shedding his winter growth. No-one knows why he does this, although some believe that it is part of a ancient mating ritual, an attempt to make himself 'more kissable' .
Soon, all that will remain of this moment is a circle of man-growth in the clearing and the few straggling hairs left on his wife's mirror, which she will dutifully remove without complaint and with great respect for this important annual tradition.